What We Wish For
by ursweetheartless
Summary: Edward may hate being a dog of the military but he always comes when called, PWP, slight angst towards the end, now new and improved, with more smut and more plot! envyxed, royxed
1. Chapter 1

Title: What We Wish For

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, a little PWP written when boerd

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, looking for a beta at the moment, mine seems to have decided she likes it in Romania /shrug/

disclaimer: i wrote a nice letter to Hirouma Arakawa asking if she'd like to trade FMA for a nice pan of delicious fudgy brownies. i have yet to hear back from her, maybe she'd holding out for two...

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Ed growled deep in his throat as he slammed the motel door hard. He wanted the figure lounging so languidly on the bed in front of him to know how displeased with him he was at the moment. Not displeased enough to not come when called though, which only made the man smirk harder, if that was even possible. He sat up and moved over, motioning to the boy to come sit down with the practiced ease of someone who had been through this dance many times. In truth he had, this was not the first time he had called the golden haired boy out of the blue, and never once had the boy not shown up. He always put of a facade of reluctance and anger when he arrived, but it fell soon enough. The man was brought back to his present by the intent glare of the blonde, who had already taken off his jacket and thrown it over the bench at the foot of the bed. The eyes held a molten core of desire and hope, hidden behind a sheen of faked annoyance. This made the man smile, he knew Edward would never stop coming when called.

He reached out a hand to touch the side of the boy's face, and smirked once more as he unconsciously pressed into the touch of the rough fabric of the gloves he wore, white with red circles and lines, a meticulous pattern made with intent. The boy was beautiful now, his eyes half lidded now, his lips parted ever so slightly. The older one leaned forwards then, claiming those lips fiercely with his own, the force behind the kiss bruising. Edward moaned slightly into the kiss, all hints of his earlier annoyance and displeasure gone in the face of the begin ing of the realization of his desire. His mouth opened slightly when prodded and he allowed the dark haired alchemist above him to explore the cavity, claiming it as his own.

The blonde let himself be steered backwards, leaned slowly by the gloved hands, one tangled in golden hair, tugging the braid free, and the other on his hip, wrapped tightly on the leather covered flesh. It wasn't long before the boy was flat out on his back, with the rough fingers dragging the customary black tank up the boy's chest, breaking the kiss only momentarily to pull it up over his head and toss it behind him, Edward's mouth open and panting hot breath from the intensity. His hands reached upwards, sliding over the front of the white uniform shirt the man atop him wore before fumbling with the buttons, senses still thick with the now awakened lust for the man. He only got halfway down before, frustrated, he pulled popping buttons from the fabric. The man chuckled, teasingly.

"Eager are we? As stunningly handsome as I am, Im not surprised."

"Bastard" Edward hissed from below him, eyes narrowing, some of the annoyance and anger from before creeping back in. The intensity made his eyes glow, and the man smiled. It was worth it to push the boy, to wind him up and let him go. But never without some way to control him. The man placed on rough glove on the boy's firm stomach and traced downwards gently, tickling the skin, swirling around the belly button and coming to rest on the button to his pants. Roy could see the tightness that ad already formed there. He shifted to the side and bent his face to Edward's again, swallowing the gasp the boy let out as he pressed his eyes shut and his hips up into the man's hands.

It was easy enough then to lift his hips slightly and slide the leather off of the hot flesh underneath, leaving the boy bear to the cheap motel sheets beneath them. He blushed at the new completeness of his nudity, turning his face away slightly, but when the dark haired man snaked his hand out to ghost over his hip the boy relaxes again, eyes closing, mouth falling slightly open. There is slight shuffling as he is shifted upwards, and a hot mouth comes down on his fast ad hard, feeding the urgency of the moment and leeching the energy from the blonde.

The mouth drew away then, though the man's finger's still rasped against the tender skin of the boy's hips, thighs, slowly circling closer to the hardness that pressed from between his legs. The boy's mouth opened and closed weakly on air, missing the contact with the soft lips he had had moments before, but when the man shifted and laid those same lips lightly on Edward's inner thigh he gasped in pleasure, almost forgetting the absence he had been lamenting. His eyes screwed tight again as the mouth engulfed his need, hot wet and immediate, forcing an unconscious breathy squeak from his own mouth.

The blonde was so wrapped up in the pleasure he was feeling he hardly noticed the slicked fingers circling behind him, tracing the cleft of his ass until they reached the opening hidden between them. He winced slightly, jumping in surprise when the first finger entered, but quickly relaxing into the routine, and as another finger was added he began to buck against them, moving the fingers to press against that spot inside of him that shot sparks across his world.

He registered the withdrawal of that perfect mouth once again, and he was still momentarily disappointed, but this time he had a clear and definite idea of what was coming, so he didn't dwell on the feeling. He shifted himself willingly this time, laying back again, spreading his legs and locking them around, behind the broad back of the dark haired man who smirked down at him now, his pants pulled down around his knees, his own weeping erection pressed tightly to Edward's small opening. The boy closed his eyes tightly when he felt the shaft pressing into him, and his breath escaped in a hiss. The man barely stopped to let him adjust before withdrawing and pistoning himself back inside, the movement so soon causing the blonde to groan in obvious pain between clenched teeth.

The more the man man moved though, the more the cries switched from pain over to pleasure, and soon Edward was squeezing with his own legs, trying to get the man deeper inside him. He could feel the fire building in his stomach with every thrust, with every grunt, with every labored breath until the fire felt like it would take over his entire sense of himself, leaving him with nothing but tis white hot heat. It was then, with a shuddering moan that the boy buried in the older man's neck, tightly gripping his shoulders, that Edward peaked, his seed splashing onto his own body, and slicking himself against the man above him, who came shortly on his heels, filling the boy with sticky warmth before slumping atop him, panting and sheened with sweat. Edward let his eyes fall closed then, let the warm arms encircle him, and let his lips form one word, whispered so quietly it was almost just a sigh.

"Roy" Edward smiled and snuggled closer to the form, trying to hold onto this bliss for as long as he could. He shifted, knowing how quickly this could fade. He still whimpered when the man pulled away to sit on the edge of the bed, and his form relaxed, shifting and rippling, the jet black hair lengthening and taking on a green tint, eyes lightening to a deep violet, smirk curling into a deadlier shape.

"Honestly Chibi-san, you must realize how pointless this is. Its a good thing I enjoy your body so much or I wouldn't be humoring you here. This really isn't healthy behavior." His hand reached out to touch the boy's cheek but now he shied away from the touch, the illusion shattered. Envy grabbed the boy's face roughly and turned it to face himself, "Honestly, its almost like rape, using his body like that without his permission." The evil gleam flooded but amethyst eyes, "What do you think he'd say if he knew you came here every week and cried out under such a perfect copy of him? Do you think he'd be able to look at you ever again, without the image haunting his brain?" The boy blushed and looked away, avoiding Envy's eyes. The sin smiled widely and wickedly. He could see the shame and self hatred written across the boy's face, the molten core of embarrassment that shown in his eyes, as if to say _steer clear of me, im dirty, im contaminated, im damaged goods._

That's exactly how Envy wanted the boy. Because he really did want the boy. Maybe he had to wear this disguise for the boy to let him touch his beautiful body, but he was damn sure to make sure nobody else was going to get anywhere near his prize.

X

Edward always waited on the bed in silence until Envy left, only then rising to take a long hot shower, trying to scrub away the dirt he felt on his very soul. He shivered in slight pain as he stepped beneath the burning hot spray in the bathroom. He always wondered afterwards why he came over, what he had needed os badly. He always promised himself here that he would never come again, that the next time He heard that perfect copy of Mustang's voice give him the address and room number for a motel he would just hang up and leave. He always let himself open up here, locked in a bathroom he would never step foot in again. He let hot tears run down his face and mingle with the water that slicked him body.

It had been bad enough when it had all been inside his head. When he would close his eyes and see that bastard's smirk, not being able to avoid thoughts of him, the sound of his voice, the softness of his skin, the power that danced from his fingertips when he snapped, the sheer cocky perfection the man commanded. It was too much.

Then Envy had found out, and the sin had exploited it to his advantage, offering him something he had honestly thought to be impossible: a chance to live that fantasy, to have the man above him murmuring in pleasure, skin shifting against skin, hot wet breath on his neck. But it wasn't real, and it didn't last. Envy always changed back before he left, as a reminder to the blonde that he was the only one who could give him such a thing, the only one willing to look beyond the flaws and the cracked exterior. But the sin also made it clear that he was only doing it as long as he got something out of the deal, something from Edward that only Edward could give.

a/n: so this is probably a oneshot, unless someone wants it go somwhere in which case i'll try my hardest to push it there.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: What We Wish For

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, still kinda smut, but now with added plot!

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, looking for a beta at the moment, mine seems to have decided she likes it in Romania /shrug/

disclaimer: i wrote a nice letter to Hirouma Arakawa asking if she'd like to trade FMA for a nice pan of delicious fudgy brownies. i have yet to hear back from her, i think i'll try another approach.

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Edward stood in a bookseller's stall in the open air market in Central City's square and pretended to study the books on the table in front if him. His hands traced the bindings of the volumes in front of him, and his eyes skimmed over them, but every so often they glanced up at the form that really held his attention, across the square in the small sidewalk café. His eyes would dart up quickly, and he would memorize all of the details he could as quickly as possible before they fell again to the books in front of him, none of which he actually saw. He didn't dare keep his gaze on the man for very long, but once he looked once he couldn't stop himself, he had to keep glancing over.

The Colonel was out on a lunch date with one of the women from the typing pool on the fifth floor. The man was laughing and charming as usual and it sent off a little pang in Ed's chest, knowing he would probably never be in that position. He wished he could sit so comfortably across the table from the man, hear the musical laugh, look deeply into the midnight eyes, see the clear smile, and know it was all for him. But he couldn't, he repeated this in his mind, _I can't, I can't, I can never have that._ It was almost reassuring, even if it did make the boy's chest constrict again. But this ache was familiar to him, it was something he remembered, something he understood, unlike the little twists of jealousy he felt in his stomach when he saw those dark eyes smiling at someone else. That was a pain he didn't want to admit, didn't want to let surface. He was too strong for that, he _had_ to be.

He felt a hand suddenly on his shoulder, the feeling made him jump. He turned to see the smiling form of Maes Hughes, who was smirking his heart out at the moment.

"Its hypnotizing isn't it?" the man said, pointing across the square to the table holding his best friend and the blonde haired typist. _Shit, he caught me, he caught me and now the man KNOWS._ Ed sweatdropped, blushing deeply now. Maes smiled. "Well it's only natural to be caught up in the spectacle, and a boy like you, I bet you're jealous. Just a little bit?" When Ed's blush deepened the man's smile widened. "I _knew_ it! Come on, lets go!" Without a second thought the man started to drag Ed across the square, to where the focus of the boy's stares was just getting up from his table, pulling out the chair for his charming date. It only took a moment for Maes to grab his attention though, as they strode up beside him.

"Hey Maes, Fullmetal, what are you guys doing out here?" The man turned to his friend, the girl coming around the table to smile shyly from the colonel's side. This made Ed blush more and look away, he couldn't stop himself from wishing he could hover there like that. he knew the man wouldn't put up with it, let alone condone it like he did with the girl in front of him. The Colonel smirked down at him when his gaze twitched back up to him, and he quickly looked away again.

The man made a big show then, wrapping one arms around the girl's waist, and kissing her gently goodbye before sending her back towards the office alone, with a joke about about wanting to get in trouble if she was back late again. She simply twittered and simpered in a way that made Edward want to kick her in the face. _She doesn't deserve to have that with him_. But the thought just ended up making the boy more embarrassed, but he couldn't turn any more red at this point, he breathed deeply instead, willing the flush from his face. The Colonel turned back to them once she had disappeared, smirking now, looking like quite the sexy bastard, in the way only Mustang truly could.

"Were you enjoying the show, Fullmetal?" He glanced at the boy, still smirking, his smile widening into glee at the reaction, "From the way you were staring, I thought you must be jealous?" The boy's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to dispute it, but nothing came out. He was frozen in shock. _Shit, now the bastard knows, I'll never hear the end of it now._

"Well, Mustang, isn't everyone a little jealous of you there? I mean, you wield the ladies with a mighty hand." Maes' voice broke the slight tension, and Ed breathed again.

"Yeah, I guess maybe I am a little. I don't have much time for anything like that really." The boy managed to sputter. Anything to fill the whole where the thoughts he had actually been thinking were made to go. Anything to convince the men that he didn't want to be the one nestled there easily next to the man, the one to feel the pressure of the arm around his waist, the light pressure of those lips...

"ED" the boy started, the Colonel's hand on his shoulder, and he blushed deeply again, he must have spaced out. He looked up at the man apologetically and it made Mustang chuckle softly. Maes just laughed softly before waiving goodbye and heading back to base. The two men exchanged pleasant goodbyes, but Ed tuned them out, he could still feel Mustang's hand on him, the rough material of the gloves on his skin and his pants were suddenly uncomfortably tight, he squirmed slightly which didn't help, only causing friction in both places, heightening the sensation.

Then Mustang was facing him again, eyes sparkling with mischief and glee as he bent down, lips almost at the boy's ear, so close he could feel the hot tickle and Ed was frozen, letting his eyes slide shut.

"It wasn't me you were jealous of, was it Edward? I think you were jealous of her." He pulled back and surveyed the shock writ on the boy's face now, his mouth still hanging open, but eyes now snapped wide and disbelieving, cheeks flushed nearly crimson again. He dragged his gloved hands across the boy's cheek as he stepped away. "I expect to see you in the office later, Fullmetal, I have an urgent mission that needs your expert skills." And with that he turned and left Edward standing in the middle of the square dumfounded, crimson, and alone, with an uncomfortable tightness still in his pants.

X

It had taken a minute before the boy was even capable of moving, let alone rational thought. He had stood there in the square somewhat dumbfounded for a decent while before he could force himself to move. It had taken most of the rest of the afternoon for him to fully recover. It pissed him off to no end to know that the bastard had done that to him, and from the smirk he gave the boy when he walked away Ed knew the man had known full well exactly what he had done, too. it made his blood positively boil to know the man had played him like that, and that there wasn't a thing he could have done at the time, the man had caught him unawares. that wouldn't happen again, though. Edward had prepared himself for the man's witty jabs and teasing, he had prepared himself for yelling and commanding, he had even prepared himself for quick cold rejection. These were the options he had accounted for when he charged into the man's office late that afternoon with his normal burst of energetic anger, kicking the door in and growling a greeting as he slammed it again behind him.

He had not been prepared, however, for the man being a perfect gentleman. Mustang just sat there, hands folded in front of him on the desk, slight smile on his lips, eyes trained expectantly on the blonde in front of him, who once again looked slightly lost, unsure of how to react to a contingency he hadn't planned for.

"Please Edward, have a seat" the man asked politely, gesturing not to the chair across his desk but to the couch that sat along the wall beside it. Edward opened his mouth, then closed it again before crossing to sit, never taking his eyes off of the man. Mustang rolled his chair over to the boy, settling down facing the couch, their knees barely touching, and looked into the boy's face intently. Ed blushed a little and looked away.

"Edward," the man spoke softly, and the blonde liked the way his name sounded on Mustang's tongue, "About what I said earlier. I need to know if thats really true."

Ed opened his mouth to deny, deny, _deny_, but all that came out was a croaked "Yes..." He slapped his hands over his mouth, eyes widening a bit in shock. Mustang smile then, not his usual smirk or the bright yet empty smile he gave the women who orbited him constantly, but a real smile. He leaned in closer then, and softly pressed his lips to Edward's, pulling back to gauge the boy's reactions. Amber eyes went wide, pink lips froze partly open, cheeks flushed, breathing quickened, but the boy sat stock still, the spell broken only when Mustang's gloved hand reached up to stroke the boy's neck gently. Ed closed his eyes then, and leaned into the contact. He jumped slightly when he felt lips on his own once again, but didn't pull away, instead leaning into it, pushing everything he had into the kiss, opening his mouth slowly, instinctually, calling the colonel to come inside and play. A soft whimper of a noise crossed his lips and Roy pulled back, smirking this time. The boy leaned forwards then, trying to relocate the warmth and tenderness he had lost with the contact, but his eyes opened sleepily and he stared at his feet when he realized the man was watching him.

The man smiled down at the boy again before rolling the chair backwards, putting some distance between them. He grabbed a manilla envelope from the desk drawer. "Fullmetal, here are your mission details, we have you on a train noon tomorrow. This one shouldn't take you that long, not more than a week, When your done call, and we'll arrange for you to come back home, okay?" The blonde looked lost and confused. he licked his lips, the innocent movement made all the more sexy by the fact that he didn't know how cute it was.

"Um, Colonel, I mean Mustang, what about ... uh ... earlier. What did that mean, for us?" his toes etched a pattern in the dirt on the office floor.

"Think about it when you're gone Edward," the man's voice was soft when he spoke to the boy, "When you get back you need to decide what you want from it, and what you are willing to give... When you get back, we can talk again, work this out in greater depth... for now, this mission is important, so hop to it, okay?" Ed smiled a little, and carried the folder from the room quietly, which made Roy chuckle softly. Neither one noticed the small bird pirched on the windowsill, violet eyes narrowed in a look of spit that didn't belong on an animal's face.

X

The misson had seemed to Ed like it would only take a couple of days to get it over with, so it frustrated it to no end when it took almost a week and a half to get it done right. There was some crazy alchemist making illegal attack arrays that exploded people and things at the slightest touch. He had planted them all over the town and getting them down and catching him had taken more effort thn Edward had anticipated. Now he was tired and sore, when he finaly walked in the door of his dormroom and flopped over onto the bed. Al, not being able to get tired in the same way, had headed off to the library right away, saying he needed to find something new, something to do while Ed recovered. The hot shower had been the first thing Ed was interested in when he got back, the second was going to sleep. But than objective was lost when he heard the phone ring.

"Hello?" he answered, the tone of his voice echoing the exauhstion he felt. It was a voice he recognized, it was the voice that sounded so much like the colonel's, but he knew really wasn't. "Not right now, Envy, I just got back from this mission." This only made the sin angrier, there was yelling and commanding, it made Edward's head hurt. He knew that Envy wouldn't give up untill he got what he wanted, until Edward came out to play. "Hold on a minute then, Im leaving now." His voice was flat and tired sounding, it echoed hollow in his ears as he hung the phone up and dragged himself off of the bed, throwing his usual clothes on over still damp skin, pulling his wet, tangled hair into a low ponytail and scribbling out a quick note to his brother.

He dashed downstairs, and lumpered through the evening air to the small hotel Envy had selected, it was more downtown than usual. It was a cheap hotel, one the boy had never been to before, it had a bar downstairs, and it waas frequented by military personnel, which made Edward nervous. He grabbed the handle on the door, Envy hadn't given him a room number so he'd have to ask at the desk, which was always embarrasing. Envy knew he hated doing that, making the scene, leaving any more evidence of their encounters than was absolutly necessary. The sin only set things up this way when he was mad at the boy, it was a sudtle way of telling the blonde child who was really in charge, of making him work a little ffor the privilage Envy gave him. Edward hated it, but he knew he would always do it anyways, because it was as close as he had believed he could get to the real thing. And he needed _that_ more than any shred of pride or dignity he still held.

The woman there was polite and helpful, giggling slightly when she found out what Edward wanted. It made the boy blush slightly, and when she gave him the number he scurried off through the doors twoards the stairs, heading to the room number he'd been given. He didn't reach the steps though, before a pair of coold hands grabbed him around the middle and pulled him into a maintenence corridor shut off from the main hallway by swinging half doors. He looked into cold onynx eyes, watching them flash a deep purple, like ripples on the surface of a lake before they settled back to the murky midnight depths that shouldn't belong to the creature who held him. The man's rough gloves scratched at his neck before pulling the boy into a violent and desperate kiss, and when the boy was allowed to pull back his lips felt slightly bruised. The sin moved his mouth to the boy's neck, suckling roughly and unevenly, pulling the jacket open to set teeth along the tanned smooth collar bone, leaving an ugly mark there, a mark of ownership. as far as the sin was concerned, the boy was _his_, even if he always fucked him wearing that man's face. He told himself he only did it because it laid the boy's scars open in front of him, it reminded the boy what he could never actually have, convinced edward that he needed this, from him.

His rough gloved hands ripped the boy's jacket from him body and slipped under his shirt savagely, sliding hands over smooth muscles with pockets of baby fat still lingering here and there on his flesh. Envy pushed the boy roughly against a cart there, filled with cleaning supplies, bottles clattered roughly to the ground as the sin pressed Edward onto it, flipping him over so he faced downwards. Cold hands and sharp teeth danced over the boy's flesh, and he squeezed his eyes shut, biting back the little cries of pain from the harsh treatment Edward _knew _he deserved. The last thing he needed though was for one of the staff, or worse a military officer, to hear the noise and find him here like this, underneath such a superficially perfect replica of Mustang. Everybody would know then, _the colonel would know_, and Ed could not let that happen, not now that the man was being so nice, not now that he had a chance, however remote.

The gloves fumbling with his belt buckle dragged the boy back to reality. He tried to wiggle free in a panic then.

"Envy please ... not that, not here ... please." Envy smirked then, almost like the colonel but infinitely colder, a hollow evil smile the bastard wasn't really capable of putting on. He slapped the boy hard on the back of the head, shutting him up immediately. The sin yanked the boy's pants down around his thighs then, and pressed his own hardness against the boy's leg, letting him feel it on his skin. He leaned down to whisper into Edward's ear.

"You'd better be quiet, chibi, or one of those military dogs might just come waltzing down here. How do you think you could explain the to you precious bastard colonel, hm?" He spoke in his own voice, but with the colonel's mouth, pulling his hips back then, and spitting into his hand. It wasn't ideal, but the sin knew that it would be easier than no lubrication at all. Besides, this way the boy wouldn't get hurt too badly, but he would feel it, he would _remember _this lesson. He thrust into the boy sharp and quick then, almost catching Ed off guard. The blonde had to shove his hand in his mouth to help bite back the painful squeak in his throat at Envy's thrust. He kept it there, eyes screwed tightly shut, as the sin picked up his pace, pounding into him hard and pushing his hips mercilessly into the side of the cart, his head almost bumping on the wall on the other side with every inward stroke. The sin leaned down again, words tickling cooly in the boy's ear.

"I saw you and him, in his office. don't think i would miss something like that Chibi-san." Envy dug his fingers into the boy's sides viciously, "Tsk, tsk, what did you think would come of that, pipsqueak? Did you think the man would break down and confess undying love? That would be a _laugh_, he probably feels sorry for a poor little lost pup like you, no mother, no father, no real family left, save a brother you damned to eternity in a tin can." the sin dug his teeth into the boy's neck again then, leaving another angry red mark on the smooth tanned skin, eliciting a muffled gasp from the blonde. Envy smiled, "Besides, did you really think he could ever want _you_? I mean look at you, your broken, you're damaged goods. You're half a boy, half some cold machine, and so scarred. No, not even the wonderful colonel mustang could love _that_." Envy's breathing was getting ragged, his voice was breaking slightly in pleasure. Ed could tell the sin was getting close, and he thanked any deity that could hear him, hoping that the man would finish and leave him in peace. He felt like crying, he felt like falling apart, but he didn't want to give Envy the pleasure of seeing him like that.

He felt the sin's nails dig into his hips hard as he came, flooding Edward with slick heat, and making him feel infinitely more dirty than he had ever felt. The sin still smiled evilly with Mustang's face, giving the boy one more hard bite before pulling out and turning to leave, Edward falling backwards onto the floor without the other's weight behind him. The boy let himself fall then, slumping against the wall, catching his breath. The sin stopped at the entrance, still looking so much like the boy's commander, turned to Edward and smiled.

"Remember this Chibi, he will never love you, he will never want you, I am really all you have. Don't let him tell you otherwise." and with that the sin pushed the doors open and walked out, leaving Edward half naked and crying on the floor of the hotel maintenance corridor.


End file.
